Monday, June 6, 2011

The things you learn at the pool...

As a kid, I was at the pool alot.  During the summer, we probably went at least 3 times a week.  I went through swimming lessons and when I was in college, I was even a lifeguard at the community pool for a summer.  Needless to say, I've been around the pool "block", so to speak.  But yesterday, I learned so many new lessons at the pool that my head spun, I left dumb-founded, confused and a little mad, actually.

Yesterday, in the scorching 100 degree heat of North Texas...Mia and I decided we needed to cool off a bit.  We have a wonderful community pool a few blocks from our house and we were SO excited to go.  They have 3 slides and the coolest little water jungle gym thing. 

First of all, let me just say, Mia was the most styling kid there.  See? This was right before we left.  Matching strawberry swimsuit AND cover-up.  Dear lord, it was cute. 


We got to the pool and it was just as I expected.  Tons of kids, tons of parents, all laughing and playing.  While I had never paid much attention to the kiddie pool in the past, that is exactly where we headed as soon as we walked in.  We sprayed ourselves with sunscreen got out the water play bucket and shovel I had just bought for the occasion, put on our sunhats and dove in (not literally, more like we waded in 1 foot of water.)

Here is where it gets ugly folks.  Listen...I know that all children are precious and a gift from God, but seriously...I wanted to put a few of those little hooligan brats in a time out for AT LEAST 30 minutes yesterday. 

Here are the lessons I learned at the pool: 

1.  Never, ever, ever bring toys with your child.  None of the other kids (who are considerably older than yours) have toys and you will spend most your time  trying to get away from that creeper little 4 year old girl who keeps following you around eye-ing your kids blue water bucket.  Mia got her bucket stolen 4 times yesterday.  FOUR TIMES! At first we used it as a "sharing" lesson...and it was okay.  But at about the 3rd time, the kids just got mean...Mia cried and looked at me for help...the little brat who stole the bucket's parents were no where in sight and so I couldn't exactly do much about it.  Lesson learned.  All I could do was say to the girl "That wasn't very nice."  She gave me a death stare and threw the bucket in the air and waded off.  Really?

2.  Don't ever assume other parents are competent.  While you can assume most parents won't let their kids drown at the pool,  don't assume they will actually discipline them and keep them from being complete and utter monsters.  (Sorry, I don't pretend to be PC here guys).  Here is how it played out...

Little four year old bratty monster (a different one than the above) steals Mia's bucket for the 2nd time.  She tries to exchange a ball with Mia.  Mia doesn't want the ball.  Little monster's stupid dad is close by and watches the whole thing and looks at us sheepishly. Mia cries.  Little monster won't give back the bucket.  Stupid dad says "Honey, the little girl wants her bucket."  Little monster still won't give back the bucket.  Stupid dad laughs nervously but doesn't do much else.  I stand there super annoyed but unable to take back the bucket.  OMG GIVE US BACK OUR BUCKET YOU STUPID LITTLE MONSTER GIRL. 

We had to leave without the bucket.  Seriously, it was that bad.  I now assume that no other parents at the pool can be trusted.

3.  Never ever take your eye off your kid.  Okay, so this is a no-brainer, but not for the reasons you think. Of course you want to keep an eye on your kid...BECAUSE THE OLDER KIDS IN THE BABY POOL ARE HORRIBLE! They will run over your baby, knock her down and then look me straight in the eye and pretend like they didn't do it.  Monsters, all of them.

Alright, so like I said.  I don't pretend to be PC here guys. It's just a lesson I think you all need to know about the pool.  These lessons were hard-learned but I think we're better for it.  Next time, we'll be prepared for the pool and all of the little hooligans that inhabit it. 

Also, I bought Mia some ice cream to make up for all the bucket nonsense.  

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