Good Enough is the New Perfect.

Remember when I wrote THIS POST ?  Well, nothing has changed for us. Mia still goes to a fabulous babysitter 2 days a week and we couldn't be happier about it.  Me? Well, I still struggle daily with my duties at home and my duties at work.  Do I spend enough time here, do I spend enough time there?  And please, god...will I ever make friends in this city and have a social life again?

Would I be wasting my education and shunning feminism by just really wanting to stay home and take care of my family and have babies?  Okay, whoa... so let's pause here for a moment.  Those of you who know me would never believe that would come out of me.  "Stay home and have babies?"  What?  Are we in an alternate universe?

Let me tell you...and you can blame it on the hormones, but having a child just changes everything.  In a way that nothing else every will.  Ever.  And I think in particular, being the person who grew and birthed that child, the mom has a particularly strong bond and natural need to take care of that child.  Well, that and lots of estrogen. 

Does that mean every woman who becomes a mom has these same feelings?  No.  Does that mean that I should ignore every professional accomplishment I have made and just forget that?  No.  Does that mean there is a different balance for every working mom out there?  Yes.

Some woman like to get away all day for 5 days and need that to handle the challenges of motherhood. Some mothers cannot physically or emotionally bear the thought of leaving their child in another person's capable care.  Me?  I'm somewhere right in the middle.  I want a little of both and that's what I got going for me.  It works right now but it isn't perfect.  When you do both, it's a constant state of limbo and you never quite feel "good" about either situation.  Any other mom's sympathize?  I used to agonize over not doing enough...not answering an email quick enough, not spending enough time with Mia and missing milestones, not hitting my deadlines fast enough and let me tell you, it wears you down and eventually...you'll hit a wall. Or in my case, you stress out so much about it, that you lose 80 pounds in less than a year.

Working moms, if you can relate...Go out and please, buy THIS BOOK.  It's seriously opening up my eyes and just lets me breathe so much easier.  If anything, it's helped me sit back and look at myself and say, "I'm not crazy, other woman do this too!!!"  The bottom line; each mom has to find her balance and what works for your family.  If working is a necessity, then this is a moot point.  Money is money and if you need it to surive and provide for your family than your natural need to stay home and care for your child/children doesn't fit in anywhere in that scenario.  But, if you are fortunate enough to have a choice and wrestle with the decision...then trying to choose can be a very dramatic ordeal.

Okay, so where am I going with all of this.  Well, I'm here to say I have had an epiphany.  Good Enough is the New Perfect.  I'm not perfect and I have to stop trying to be.  I don't have to swiffer my floor every day, an email doesn't have to be answered within 5 minutes of receiving it, and I don't have to agonize over someone else taking care of Mia for a few hours.   Superwoman, I am not.  And I am MORE than happy with that.

On a side note, I'm also starting to catch some baby fever (no, not yet, not now...but its in the future).  I think that will throw this delicate balance all to heck and I'm gonna have to start over, right?